Weeks 11-16 (Month 3) Update

I didn't make weekly blog posts after week 11 as it seemed that I wasn't changing visually and I didn't have weekly changes to report... all that said however, I did still feel like I was healing and I was wondering how to express how I felt.

I cut my MLD down from several sessions a month to one session monthly from the middle of month 3, so I was not planning on having MLD between the middle of month 3 and the middle of month 4.  I felt I no longer had any significant visible external signs of healing (other than my incisions which are still fading) so thought I could save some money by reducing it.  

I felt a mix of emotions during these weeks; lots of relief my surgery journey was over, but also quite down that I was still getting some pressure pain in my left outer thigh.  Mostly it is caused by the seat of my car which has a prominent hard seam under my thigh, and which seems to cause discomfort if I sit right on that seam.  

I emailed Professor Schmeller to try and explain this, and how I was feeling that the back of my outer thighs is not 100% identical.  Much hilarity ensued in trying to photograph a spot on both sides of my bum and explain it by email!  Of course in nature we are not 100% identical on both sides so it is most natural not to be entirely identical.  I'm really not sure why I became so obsessive about scrutinising my flanks when seen from a twisted angle from above (the only way in which you see this variation!).  I had never been obsessed with my body so it was a very strange feeling to keep looking at it and going on about it to my husband and the Professor.  My change in body image has mostly felt subtle and natural and I have struggled to articulate quite why I have been so obsessed in comparing a small area on both flanks - struggling to tell myself, not just others!

I think I was partly so obsessed about this area as it had changed a lot and since puberty my hips had been very rounded.  I had never looked like this and had never really seen that area up close on another woman.  To suddenly have a flatter flank on each side was so strange to me that I kept staring at it and was worried for ages that the Professor had removed too much fat!

The pain in that area came and went during the whole of this month.  That made me quite sad that I might find it still happened after I healed more.  Professor Schmeller said pain should always be less after surgery, never more, and wanted to understand it and my flat patches in quite some detail.  I felt very supported by his attention, but still felt a little mixed emotionally during these weeks.